Why is that so hard? It's strange, because I've always thought of myself as a naturally optimistic person. But when I'm not....I'm REALLY not. Basically my inner pendulum swings from "everything is awesome" to "everything sucks" but doesn't spend too much time in between. I've been challenging myself more to see how quickly I can get out of the "everything sucks" so I can feel sad, move on, and show some resilience. That's one thing I gained out of the S-show that was 2020 - I am a much more resilient person that I thought. I hit an all time low in October, but December - I was BACK, BABY! What used to take me a week to switch my mindset, I can now do in a couple days. I want to get to a one-day mental shift...couple hours....minutes??? That day it happens is going to be amazing.
Here are some things that I've had to shift my mind around:
A COVID-19 wedding. I'm at the point where I'm just thankful that I've received a vaccine. Whoever can come, can come. It will be joyful. And at least my to-be-spouse will be there....
Possibly moving (again!). I was so DONE with moving. I've been waiting to settle down and call a place a home. When I moved to Memphis, I thought this was it. I established my roots, made deep connections with my community, fell in love with the city and everything it has to offer. And then I fell in love with someone who doesn't live here. Oops. The goal was to stay here, and I cried a lot about it. Now we're probably going to move wherever he finds the best job prospect. If that happens, I'll have to leave my job and my sister and my amazing community. Bright side? Maybe it's the chance to start a new adventure. Start fresh. New place, Jani 3.0.
These are the 2 biggest things on my mind right now, and I'm working every day to find the gratitude in my attitude so that way I can keep moving forward and not let these things bog me down. I'll keep you posted on how it goes :)